Limited supplies of the debut album by Elders of the Apocalypse, featuring past and present members of Your Kid’s on Fire. This isn’t the level of violence you’d expect from YKOF alumni…this is far beyond your feeble mortal imagination. War metal insanity inspired by the likes of Blasphemy, Black Witchery, Conqueror, Revenge, Sarcofago, Beherit, and German thrash. Raw and utterly devastating. This is a cassette edition released by NoVisible Scars. This is not your typical cassette release. NVS provides cover art of the size you would get from an EP record. $7 US/$8 world.
******NEW – YKOF T-SHIRT – See design above
Limited supplies, and unless you just arrived in a time machine from a future where even shirts can be downloaded, this is the only place to obtain this shirt. Let’s face it. Nobody likes you. You’ve always wished it could be a simple fix, that if you just bought the right CD or wore the right clothes, you would be the envy of your peers and the lusty target of the opposite sex. Well, YKOF is ready to change your luck in life*, if you will just let us help you. You are GUARANTEED to win the affection of your obsession if you simply own this shirt.** Now, we can’t do everything for you. All shirt sizes are XL, so if that won’t work for you, we suggest you hit the Stairmaster or start lifting weights. (Actually, contact us and we will consider offering different sizes whenever we get around to ordering more shirts.)
The shirt is black and costs $10 US/$12 world. This includes postage. You will also be the recipient of a YKOF logo button and sticker.
But are you saying to yourself, “I would feel like a complete poser to buy a shirt by a band when I don’t have any of their music”? That’s very perceptive of you. That’s exactly what you would be.
But what if we offered a deal where you could get the shirt AND our first CD (plus sticker and button) for the absolute steal of $15?
No, even though you probably DID black out last night and just woke up beside a strangled prostitute whom you undoubtedly murdered in cold blood, YOU ARE NOT DREAMING…we are really offering this deal. And relax…experts call prostitutes “high-risk victims.” That means the high-risk is THEIRS for dying in their profession, not yours for killing. You’ll probably get away scot-free. And you can take back the money you paid her for that half-and-half and send it to us instead. Give her one for the road and saunter over to PayPal to send us payment email@example.com.
Need to send us cash or a money order instead? Email me through the site and I’ll give you the mailing details.
YKOF T-SHIRT + YKOF – AUGHT SIX: A NECRODYSSEY CD + YKOF BUTTON & STICKER -- $15 US/$17 WORLD (postage paid)
YOUR KID'S ON FIRE -- AUGHT SIX: A NECRODYSSEY. The first release, "a barrage of murder, violence, death, pain, gore and slaughter." Twenty-three songs total, including a cover of Slaughter's "One Foot in the Grave." Forty-plus minutes of flesh-ripping, blast-ridden, corpse-jacking grind! Swedish style heaviness at terrifying speed! The best-selling grindcore record in the history of Uganda! Featuring Top 40 bad jams like "Relentless Hunger for Rancid Clotted Cunts," "Frenetic Meathook Abortion," "Kill All the Glamfucks," "Blood-Spattered Drill Bit Death," and "Half Decayed Bitch Raped and Tossed in a Ditch"! Hear "The Green Inferno" and "Gore is Life" from this monster slab, guaranteed to start a small fire in your mama's panties. Released by Will Rahmer on his label Redrum Records. $8 US/$10 world, postage paid.
BURNED ALIVE – Total gore/death/grind compilation released by the sickos of Porcupine Press. 29 tracks, 28 bands, including INSECT WARFARE, FONDLECORPSE, BLOOD FREAK, FRIGHTMARE, TU CARNE, GRUESOME STUFF RELISH, BIRDFLESH, POSER DISPOSER, and many more. Approximately 70 minutes of insanity. This comp contains the YOUR KID'S ON FIRE song “Chainsaw Devil,” which the more perceptive among you will notice does not appear on the Aught Six: A Necrodyssey album. This is our homage to the slasher classick PIECES. Buy or die!! $5 US/$6 WORLD
SPECIAL: Order the AUGHT SIX: A NECRODYSSEY album and the BURNED ALIVE compilation both for $10 US/$12 world.
YOUR KID'S ON FIRE STICKERS!!! All orders will include a YKOF sticker. The design is the body part styled logo featured among the pictures on our page. Put it on your car and watch your love life come to a crashing halt! Put it on your guitar and shred like a prostitute through a wood chipper! Guaranteed to make you a better musician!*** If you already have our CD (yeah, right) and just want a sticker, write for details.
CINERARY – RITUALS OF DESECRATION. Gurgle-obsessed brutal death from the Windy City. A couple of -ion song titles along with “Inheriting the Deified,” so you know exactly what you will get. $3 US/$5 WORLD
DEADEN -- DISPLAYING THE ART OF CARNAGE. At last, the comeback album from Chicago death metal sickos! Not for the faint of heart or limp of wrist. Much better than Brutal Death Band X. Morbid samples, lots of speed, utter lyrical depravity. $3 US/$5 world, postage paid.
DEADEN – HYMNS TO THE SICK. First full-length from Chicago’s brutal death metal maniacs. Remember when you had to be 18+ to order this from Relapse? Sickening layout, sicker music. $3 US/$5 WORLD
LORD GORE – THE AUTOPHAGOUS ORGY. A Razorback release from the earlier part of the decade, this is the debut album from Oregon death metal band LORD GORE. Putrid vocal attack which they swear was accomplished without harmonizers or microphone cupping (you know these guys are getting laid in alarming numbers). Samples from classick films like AFTERMATH, STREET TRASH, and RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, and even a couple from brutal HBO prison drama OZ. Delivers the heaviness, occasional Autopsy doom touches, and blasting that you will surely die without, but only if you buy it from us. $3 US/$5 world
Order by Paypal at this address: firstname.lastname@example.org
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Write to us for info about where to send money orders/cash.
Discounts may be available in exchange for nude pictures of your mother. Inquire.
* YKOF is not ready to change your luck in life.
** YKOF does not guarantee you will win the affection of your obsession if you buy our T-shirt.
***YKOF stickers are not guaranteed to make you a better musician.