Saturday, November 11, 2006

PILEDRIVER:THE REAL STORY ABOUT BOSTON?

So, according to Piledrivers Myspace blog this is what really happen last sat night in Boston...

PILEDRIVER - BONED IN BOSTON
Current mood: disappointed
Category: News and Politics

PILEDRIVER - BONED IN BOSTON
MegaHails to all our minions of the Metal Inquisition!
First of all, we have to say that we had a BLAST ripping faces off on the Piledrivin' Destructour, with the righteous honour of sharing stages with the pummeling powerhouse that is DESTRUCTOR! All of 'em; NYC, Montreal, Quebec City... all were bludgeoning examples of bombastic ol'skool METAL!!!
However...
Boston was another story... and what a story... let's deconstruct this debacle chronologically, K?
The night before in NYC was a bust in a way... I was ill, the crowd was tiny (but deliciously demented!) and we all took a loss and hoped we would get enough gas money in Boston the following night to get us back home. So, we arrived at the dusty n' dilapitaded Elk's Lodge in Boston ahead of most of the pack, and set in to get set up. Upon greeting us with a look of impending doom the so-called 'promoter' of the show Robin (the Bird Brain Of Boston) Goodhue proceeded to demonstrate his lack of skills at reading and executing a contract by not providing a single thing he signed for, not the least of which was our money. We (and Destructor) had taken a big loss the night before in NYC because the promoter there didn't understand how to advertise to get people out to a show, and then, already in debt and hungry, we hear we're not to get paid much again, let alone all the other provisions of the contracts. Frustrated, we decided to go outside, have a smoke, and figure out what's what... not the least of which was the subject of always taking it up the ass because these two-bit promoters have no clue that they need to advertise and we end up paying to play to crowds of ten... We've had enough of going in debt and starving while trying to perform up to snuff. Besides, this is the music BUSINESS, and a contract's a contract... do we finally put our foot down and stand our ground for a change? Do we tell him he's the last asshole to bone us for a gig? Or do we do what we always do, and take another one up the ass for the fans, and suck on our socks for nutrients and fuel?
Outside the Elks havin' a butt While trying to figure out how we're gonna get our freakshow on without a proper dressing room and how we're gonna pay for the gas to get us to Montreal, we spot a metal-lookin' red-tressed maiden circling around our perimeter, analyzing us... turns out that the vivacious and hilarious Tracy had a mission to track us down for a photo for her man Tilley! (Or was it Tulley???) As she ran in for a 'shawpy' to make a sign for the picture, we continued our discussions on the debacle at hand behind the scenes. At this point a wonderful couple from Newhaven (sorry.. our sleep deprived brains have misplaced your names... please send us yer e-mails, eh!!!) stepped up and made our day with their Pile-centric evil devotions, and won our black hearts forever. 'TrifficTracy returns, and we make mayhem with takin' pic's, and have some great conversations with our new friends. During our yakkin', they ALL ask what the hell we're doing "playing this old barn that no-one's EVER seen a REAL band in? Why the HELL aren't you playing up the street at the PERFECT place for you Piledrivin Destructor types... The Middle East???" We replied that it might have something to do with the fact that we don't live in Boston, and aren't too hip on what's hip in Boston, not bein' FROM Boston, so if that's what's hip in Boston mussbe what's hip in Boston... so, ballsy metalmama that she is, Tracy drags us on over to the Middle East (sez she knows someone) to see if we can slide the show over there if there's some local 'bump-able' bands playin', since we ain't gettin' paid at Robin's hands, and there will prolly only be like 12 people there anyway... why not try to get in to a proper venue and take advantage of an average walk-in of 150, plus the 12 people from the Elk's? Turned out that Rev. Horton Heat was playing that night, thus, not bump-able, BUT... WE WILL BE TALKING WITH THE CLUB ABOUT A PILEDRIVER/DESTRUCTOR APPEARANCE AT the MIDDLE EAST club IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!! So... Lobo takes in some apparently quite good Middle East dinner fare while we smoke n' yuk it up outside... Yup... having a great time with our new friends in a great city, knowing that if we blow off tonight's show to show some spine and respect for ourselves and to show that birdbrained promoter ya can't just shit on a band and expect 'em to play, and even still, because we're decent people, we would compromise yet again for the sake of the fans that drove from so far, that that we'd accept $200 to do the show that night.
We head back to the Elk's Lodge to see if birdbrain likes the plan. When we arrive, Kinky and I are then informed that we can't have 10 names on the guest list. We look at each other blankly... um... we don't HAVE a guestlist... we don't KNOW ANYONE in Boston, so how could we invite anyone onto our guestlist even if we HAD one that night. In goes Kinky to find out what's up with that. Upon his return he tells me that, "yup, some guy passed himself off as a band member and put "smegmadude plus 10" onto the guest list". By this point we were getting pissed off, so I grabbed the 'sharpie' from the table and blotted out the name saying "we don't know a single person in Boston, let alone this 'smegmadude', so how could we have a guest list, and where's Robin, we want to talk to him about tonight's show", implying that there would still be a show. The mascara'd doughboy behind the table who looked like he'd just shit his pants nervously pointed into the main hall to the little birdbrain on his cellphone. As we approached him to tell him when he finished his call that we wanted to discuss what's what, that we would compromise and do the set if he could come up with at least $200 for gas n' food, and if he could rig up some kind of curtain to make a jerry-rigged dressing room' at the side of the stage... then while he's still on his phone, trying to avoid us, he starts a scaredy-cat walk/run leading us all around the place, then outside, then he's nearly actually running up the block (ironically enough with the Middle East's signage in the background)... we give up following him, shaking our heads wondering "what the fuck is UP with that dude? Fuck him, let's not wait for him to come back, let's just go... we've got just enough gas to get us to Montreal and we can make up our losses there with a real crowd! We should be be back here at the Middle East in a few months anyways..." So, there we were 'Boned In Boston', BUT, with plans to return and make right for all of our fans that were so let down.
While we're yacking with fans out front of the Elk, sayin' our sorry's n' goodbye's, a cruiser pulls up, and a coupla cops lookin' ready for battle head for the front door. Bein' a nice guy at heart, I call out to them that they need to go by the rear door... they nod and thank me and head for same. Once they enter, we wonder if all of this contractual starvation frustration was moot, perhaps they were here to shut it down due to noise complaints or something? Moments later, the door opens, out come the cops with that birdbrained Robin, who's crying like a little girl "that's him right there officers, boo hoo, sniffle, boo hoo hoo" and they head down the steps towards us. Kinky and I look at each other witha befuddled "whaaa???" The officers have been informed that we were 'menacing' and 'acting aggressively' and that the wimps 'feared for their safety' and that we were being escorted from the facility as 'they don't want you here, they fear for their safety, you have to go'. We explained to him how we were fucked for our SIGNED contract, that he was renegging on the deal, and that we were only chasing him around to let him know that we would do the show if he could come up with $200 because we didn't want to let down the fans, but we needed gas and food. After the cop got the whole story from us, and agreed on how it was birdbrain who was in the wrong here, he stomped back to the birdbrain and let him have it, "Look! You CAN'T do business like this! This has gone on long enough!You can't shaft people and expect us to come and save you every time!" These comments led us to believe that this has happened with this birdbrained Robin asshole before. The cop continued the birdbrain-verbal-beat-down with "Some time you're going to call us, and there will be something major going on, and we won't be able to respond to your call for an hour or more... by the time we get to you, you could be beat to shit and we won't be in position to do ANYTHING for you! You can't DO this! You can't sign contracts and not honor them!" I turned to birdbrain and said "So there's no room for compromise for tonight?" He answered "No, I'm sorry. I didn't want any trouble, you have to go". I retorted that WE were the ones not looking for any trouble, that it was HIM that caused it all! At this point the officers escorted us to the sidewalk and asked us to leave town.
So there you have it - PILEDRIVER - BONED IN BOSTON.
The LAST thing any band wants to do is bail on a show, but, sometimes, shit happens and it's outta your hands. Especially when two-bit-panty-waist-chicken-shit-losers pretend to be promoters and think they can just shit on musician's heads and call the cops on you when you're righteously indignated, angered, and completely ripped off due to their incompetence.
None of 'em understand that the base of promoter is PROMOTE!!! You can fill a room fool of free ice cold beer, but if no-one knows it's there, it ain't gonna get drunk!!!!! Baaaah!!!! Look for us at the Middle East!
Boston and area Piledriver fans, please accept our sincerest apologies, please bear with us, and please come out when we're there, for our personal apologies, and a killer show in a proper venue!!! If schedules allow, it will be the same Destructor/Piledriver show ya WOULDA seen!!! If you drove hours to Boston to see us and were disappointed, please know that we feel horrible about all this, and vow make it up to you somewhere/somehow... the Middle East looks like the best bet so far... check www.sofa-q.com/shows.html and www.myspace.com/theexaltedpiledriver for updates.
Oh, and if you happen to come across the Bird-Brain-Of-Boston -Robin Goodhue... Seig-Pile him for us!!!
All our blood,
Pile and the Band

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